So what's the difference you might ask, between between being lonely and being alone?

The key difference is your perspective..................ask a group of people who live alone if they are lonely and you will get a variety of answers, ranging from 'I'm so lonely I can hardly bear it' to 'I feel more free than I ever have in my life'. So what is that about? 

We live in a age currently where we are constantly aware of people living rich, and fulfilling lives, surrounded by others who love and adore them. Or at least, that's what we allow ourselves to believe, mainly because we are constantly being bombarded by such images on social media, on tv, in glossy magazines, everywhere, it is everywhere! And so we conclude, well my life isn't remotely like that, I must be doing something wrong. And that's what makes us feel lonely, we look around us and feel that we're missing out, if only we had more exciting friends, if only we had a partner, if only we had a better paid job, if only I had a better figure, if only I was prettier. Oh my goodness, the list goes on and on, or at least it could, if that's where we keep directing our focus. We could find a million reasons for our loneliness, and every single one of them would be utter nonsense, and the only thing we would gain by thinking this way would be a permanent dark cloud hanging over us.

But it could be so very different.

For me, I spent many years feeling lonely in the company of people, trying to fit in, because after all society tells us that we are social  creatures and we need loads of friends. In the end I came to the conclusion that I simply wasn't a people person and I preferred my own company. So then I went out of my way to avoid people wherever possible, for a long time I thought of them as energy vampires, because interactions just left me feeling exhausted, it was all just too much effort which left me feeling totally depleted. 

But that wasn't the answer either, we are social creatures to a degree, and some social interaction is just as important as alone time. I'd even avoided getting a job because I thought I couldn't be around people, but the universe had other ideas, and forced my hand. By this time, I had been alone for some time, and used that time to look at myself with new eyes, without interference from anyone else, without anyone elses opinion, without anyone elses judgement, and that is the freedom of being alone, you find out who You are, not who someone else thinks you should be. And you know what, because I had reached a place of accepting myself, I began to find myself around people that I liked, and wanted to talk to, and could quite happily spend time chatting to. 

So if you find yourself alone, see it as a gift that you've given yourself, it won't last forever, but it might last a while, and you'll come out the other side a better person for it. 

xx